Saturday, 19 April 2014

What does your watch say about you? Fuck all, that's what.

A recent study conducted by Columbia University on behalf the Watch Station International sought to discover if one's wrist watch has anything to say about one's personality.

Psychotherapist Jasmin Terrany, worked with Watch Station to identify a correlation between watch type and the wearer's personality type.

Terrany said “There is a distinct link between watch choices and the personality of the wearer, for example, people who choose large watch faces tend to be more extroverted, whereas those who opt for a more minimalist style have shown that they can be more introverted.”

Pretty basic psychotherapy, (and PR fluff) perhaps, but still worth checking which shleb you're like, right?


Michael Kors Scout Silver Tone Chronograph Watch £209

"When looking at this bold watch, the first characteristic that stands out is the crisp, clean, heavy material; suggesting the wearer of this watch is organised, structured and strong-willed, perhaps even a leader. The sharp lines representing the numbers suggest focus and determination. The chronographs on the face imply self-motivation and attention to detail. The price tag on this watch indicates that its wearer is a decision-maker and go-getter. Wearing this watch will put you in alignment with celebrities like Simon Cowell and Victoria Beckham."

Translation, Cowell and Posh like flashy wrist candy.


Fossil Nate Chronograph Leather Watch - Brown £125

"The brown leather band indicates a connection to nature and comfort. The wearer of this watch is likely connected to himself and others, exhibiting emotional intelligence and comfort in his own skin. The practical and non-flashy style of this watch suggests that the wearer is humble, and casual, yet active and confident. The combination of both numbers and number markers on the face suggest adaptability and balance, security and even creativity. Celebrities who wear similar styles are Bear Grylls, Jake Gyllenhaal and James Blunt."

Translation, wanna look like a polite, well-mannered and yet kinda hot shleb choose brown leather.


Michael Kors Parker Silver Tone Glitz Chronograph Watch £329.00

"The diamond detailing would suggest this wearer aspires to a wealthy and fashionable lifestyle. The circular watch face and delicate strap detail suggest a feminine, mature and graceful nature. The 'glamourous' wearer tends to know exactly what they like and fall under the 'brand loyalist' umbrella. Favoured by the likes of Kim Kardashian, Carla Bruni, and Cheryl Cole, this watch tells the world that the wearer is a successful trendsetter, committed to being unique and incredibly confident."

Translation, if the store clerk says, "oh, you're glamourous," they mean you're a chav.
The Technical 

Diesel Mr Daddy - Square £279

The ‘authentic enthusiast’ who wears this technical watch demonstrates their clever, intellectual, curious and interested nature with the plethora of gadgets enveloping the face of this unique watch. The simple band combined with this complex face indicates that the wearer is resourceful, individualistic, self- motivated and thinks outside the box. Wearing this watch would put you in alignment with like-minded game-changers like Richard Branson, Mark Zuckerberg and Lewis Hamilton.

Translation, this research is woolly at best.

Stand Out 

adidas Brisbane £75
"This colourful and playful watch suggests the wearer is vivacious, energetic, spunky and fun-loving. The combination of numbers and bullets on the face indicate creativity and light-heartedness in this wearer. The stand-out qualities of this watch suggest that the wearer is a bit frisky yet courageous, and comfortable standing out in a crowd. Wearing this watch will align you with celebrities such as Tinie Tempah, Ellie Goulding, and Katy Perry."

Translation, if you're still reading, I applaud you.


Skagen Klassik Men’s Three-Hand Date Steel Watch £135

The simple numbered face of this watch suggest its wearer is a purist who values cleanliness, calm and balance. The fresh and clean style of this watch implies this wearer has nothing to hide, and is likely trustworthy and grounded. The textured metal band suggests this wearer is mature, organised, and reliable. Celebrities who wear similar styles are Alexa Chung, Suki Waterhouse and Ryan Gosling.

Translation, oh I love Ryan Gosling...

tokidoki x KARL LAGERFELD Karl Pop Watch £139

"This fun watch suggests the wearer is playful, approachable and free-spirited. The cartoonish face suggests that this watch is more for style than for utility and the wearer doesn’t take themselves too seriously. Wearers of this style are likely to be just as animated as it is, much like the spontaneous and cheerful Cara Delevingne, Gwen Stefani or Perri from Little Mix"

Translation, Cara don't give a shit.