Friday, 14 December 2012

iPad: An invasion

The iPad sat on an obnoxious little fold-out easel, taunting me with it's flashy swishy fabulousness. "Jordan, come touch me," it said, "swipe your fingers across my face and discover that I can be whatever you want me to be." It wasn't lying either. If I fancied reading a book, it was wide open, perhaps I needed to send an email, it was signed sealed and delivered with love. It was, truly, everything I wanted from plastic and aluminum. But, sadly, it wasn't mine. 

This is the story of a boy and a tablet computer.
 
For those that don't know what a tablet is, and there aren't many of you, a tablet is a computing device with a touch screen that enables users to perform most of the tasks more commonly performed on a laptop or desktop PC computer, but with greater mobility and some of the added benefits commonly associated with a mobile phone, like SMS text messaging. So, you can read online recipes in the kitchen whilst texting your Mum or even watch YouTube on the loo whilst learning Piano chords.

 
Now, I'm no techno wizard, I'm not big on Hi-Fis or WiFi and I'm not easily turned-on by electronics, but I do like the technology I choose to invest in to work for me in ways previously thought unimaginable. A tall order? Nope, that's what technology is for! 

Par example, when I stepped into the smart phone world, I did so with the BlackBerry Bold. A sturdy, easy and efficient tool that could handle my five email accounts and my tendency to frequently drop it in the street. I subsequently trailed the first Nokia Lumia, a less responsive but nevertheless pretty device that was my first dabble with touch-screen. Then, my latest and current phone is the iPhone 4S, a phone worthy of deity. It just does what I want when I want it. It reminds me of meetings, TV programmes I like, allows me to email quickly and without fuss, when I'm out of the office, dictate text messages when driving (oh, as if you don't) and I can still tweet from four accounts, manage five Facebook pages and still have a personal social(media) life too. *sigh* it's amazing.

Functionality. That's what I look for in a technological device. That's what gets my techno juices flowing.

So, back to the aforementioned tablet. I first came across said tablet at work as the company I work for has both an ecommerce operation and a bricks and mortar shopfloor presence, with the shopfloor benefiting from an iPad to allow shoppers to browse the extensive catalogue of products, online. It was this iPad that was to be my first foray into the world of tablet computing.

For a long time, I tried to ignore it. I said things like, "it provides excellent opportunities for multi-channel cross-pollination," whilst staring at it as if it might bite me. It was such a ridiculous item, something Steven Jobs pitched to a load of techno-nutters as a joke because no one in their right mind needs a phone that doesn't phone or a laptop that doesn't have a bloody keyboard. Right?

Wrong. I needed it. Why? Because, like all good technology, it appears from the beginning to be superfluous and irrelevant because it is light-years ahead of us silly human people. It knows that I will need something to get my Amazon order on whilst watching Downton Abbey because I can't be arsed to switch on the laptop. It knows I'll need to use it as an interactive clipboard-come-guest-list at my next work event because I will look SO COOL! It knows more about me than I know about myself (mainly because it is connected to the internet and I'm not...)

 
Oh, and guess what, whilst you've been reading my ramble over 125 tablets have been sold. Yep, according to the Guardian, one tablet will be sold every single second this Christmas shopping period. So, if you haven't already swanned off to get yours, I'll make it easier. Click here to go straight to the Carphone Warehouse and get your fix.

END.

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