Saturday, 19 April 2014

What does your watch say about you? Fuck all, that's what.

A recent study conducted by Columbia University on behalf the Watch Station International sought to discover if one's wrist watch has anything to say about one's personality.

Psychotherapist Jasmin Terrany, worked with Watch Station to identify a correlation between watch type and the wearer's personality type.

Terrany said “There is a distinct link between watch choices and the personality of the wearer, for example, people who choose large watch faces tend to be more extroverted, whereas those who opt for a more minimalist style have shown that they can be more introverted.”

Pretty basic psychotherapy, (and PR fluff) perhaps, but still worth checking which shleb you're like, right?

Bold


Michael Kors Scout Silver Tone Chronograph Watch £209

"When looking at this bold watch, the first characteristic that stands out is the crisp, clean, heavy material; suggesting the wearer of this watch is organised, structured and strong-willed, perhaps even a leader. The sharp lines representing the numbers suggest focus and determination. The chronographs on the face imply self-motivation and attention to detail. The price tag on this watch indicates that its wearer is a decision-maker and go-getter. Wearing this watch will put you in alignment with celebrities like Simon Cowell and Victoria Beckham."


Translation, Cowell and Posh like flashy wrist candy.

Classic 


Fossil Nate Chronograph Leather Watch - Brown £125

"The brown leather band indicates a connection to nature and comfort. The wearer of this watch is likely connected to himself and others, exhibiting emotional intelligence and comfort in his own skin. The practical and non-flashy style of this watch suggests that the wearer is humble, and casual, yet active and confident. The combination of both numbers and number markers on the face suggest adaptability and balance, security and even creativity. Celebrities who wear similar styles are Bear Grylls, Jake Gyllenhaal and James Blunt."


Translation, wanna look like a polite, well-mannered and yet kinda hot shleb choose brown leather.

Glamourous 


Michael Kors Parker Silver Tone Glitz Chronograph Watch £329.00

"The diamond detailing would suggest this wearer aspires to a wealthy and fashionable lifestyle. The circular watch face and delicate strap detail suggest a feminine, mature and graceful nature. The 'glamourous' wearer tends to know exactly what they like and fall under the 'brand loyalist' umbrella. Favoured by the likes of Kim Kardashian, Carla Bruni, and Cheryl Cole, this watch tells the world that the wearer is a successful trendsetter, committed to being unique and incredibly confident."

Translation, if the store clerk says, "oh, you're glamourous," they mean you're a chav.
 
The Technical 

Diesel Mr Daddy - Square £279




The ‘authentic enthusiast’ who wears this technical watch demonstrates their clever, intellectual, curious and interested nature with the plethora of gadgets enveloping the face of this unique watch. The simple band combined with this complex face indicates that the wearer is resourceful, individualistic, self- motivated and thinks outside the box. Wearing this watch would put you in alignment with like-minded game-changers like Richard Branson, Mark Zuckerberg and Lewis Hamilton.



Translation, this research is woolly at best.

Stand Out 


adidas Brisbane £75
     
"This colourful and playful watch suggests the wearer is vivacious, energetic, spunky and fun-loving. The combination of numbers and bullets on the face indicate creativity and light-heartedness in this wearer. The stand-out qualities of this watch suggest that the wearer is a bit frisky yet courageous, and comfortable standing out in a crowd. Wearing this watch will align you with celebrities such as Tinie Tempah, Ellie Goulding, and Katy Perry."

Translation, if you're still reading, I applaud you.

Simplicity 


Skagen Klassik Men’s Three-Hand Date Steel Watch £135

The simple numbered face of this watch suggest its wearer is a purist who values cleanliness, calm and balance. The fresh and clean style of this watch implies this wearer has nothing to hide, and is likely trustworthy and grounded. The textured metal band suggests this wearer is mature, organised, and reliable. Celebrities who wear similar styles are Alexa Chung, Suki Waterhouse and Ryan Gosling.
    

Translation, oh I love Ryan Gosling...
 
Fun  
 


tokidoki x KARL LAGERFELD Karl Pop Watch £139

"This fun watch suggests the wearer is playful, approachable and free-spirited. The cartoonish face suggests that this watch is more for style than for utility and the wearer doesn’t take themselves too seriously. Wearers of this style are likely to be just as animated as it is, much like the spontaneous and cheerful Cara Delevingne, Gwen Stefani or Perri from Little Mix"

Translation, Cara don't give a shit.

END.

Sunday, 6 April 2014

Who's Drag Race?

Apparently Jonathan Ross is looking to produce a UK version of RuPaul's Drag Race, with UK DJ and Drag Queen, Jodie Harsh. Has a more bizarre statement ever been typed?


RuPaul her/himself

RuPaul, our favourite legendary drag performer and all round super star, the former face of MAC Cosmetics, the TOP UK 40 (OK, #39) recording artist, shoe designer and confectionery connoisseur produces and hosts the best reality TV show in the world, RuPaul's Drag Race. (For those who don't know, it's basically America's Next Top Model for Drag Queens.) But, what would it look like on British shores, let's imagine for a second.


So, firstly there's no runway, as we don't say runway unless we're at Heathrow. It'd be a catwalk, which is helpful for puns related to pussy.


There'd be no Santino Rice, sad times, but maybe reality TV's favourite homosexual fashion designer would step into the role, i.e. Henry Holland?



There'd be no Michelle Visage, even sadder times, but maybe TV's favourite is-she-actually-a-man person would step into the role, i.e. Denise Welch. 



There'd have to be a challenge relating to northern Drag's roots in Working Men's Clubs. Contestants would channel the likes of Foo Foo Lamarr and Lily Savage with piercing wit and shit loads of sequins in front of crowds of working class blokes who would probably be heckling them. Yes.


There'd always be someone from the Republic of Ireland that no one could understand, in the same way that there is always someone from Puerto Rico that no one can understand, in the US version.


Jonny Woo

There'd be a bearded lady, because London's East End likes a bearded lady.


There'd probably be less plastic surgery.

There'd be quite a few cocks-in-frocks, because tucking isn't as wide spread (lol) a phenomenon in the UK as it is in the US.


There'd almost certainly be less fish and more gender-fuck.

Must-see guest judges would include, Sharon Osborne, Mary Berry, Paul Hollywood, Simon Cowell, Alan Carr, Keith Lemon, Jane McDonald, Barbara "Rita from Corrie" Knox, Matthew Todd, Elton John, Barbara Windsor.

Whatever it looks like, it'd be unmissable. And to all the pessimists, if it fails majestically, we always have RuPaul.

END.

Tuesday, 1 April 2014

Markain of Huntley Homme, interviewed

Huntley Homme, fashion for the modern homosexual. No, this ain't leather gear and nipple clamps, but something a little more, on-trend.



Based out of Melbourne, Markian and his partner James are the power couple behind this newcomer to the etail landscape and I got to bend Markian's ear about all the important things.

Rambler: Why gay fashion? 
Markian: I don't think there is enough of it out there. I know there are some amazing people out there creating beautiful work, but if you do an online search for gay fashion a lot of the t-shirts are just so clich├ęd and uninspired. I'm all for wearing your pride, but I wanted to share a more creative and expressive way to do that. Our prints are a mixture of hand drawn sketches, digitally created art or a mixture of both. 




Rambler: What's your background? 

Markian: Styling and photographing womenswear fashion. I've spent years making girls look hot and I'm thrilled to be able to share some of that love with the boys now.

Rambler: Who is your customer, are they club kids, students, queens, all of the above?

Markian: Definitely all of the above, I'd like to think there is something in there for every gay. We had a big sale from Russia last week and I couldn't help thinking that if he wore some of the t-shirts publicly he could be arrested for “gay propaganda”. Our y-front sweat pants and some of the more graphic prints are sure to turn a few heads, but there are also some more subtle pieces that you can wear every day, no matter where you live and what the political climate is. 



Rambler: Who is your favourite RuPaul's Drag Race contestant and why?

Markian: I've got to give it to Courtney Act this season. I'm only 2 episodes in and I may be a little biased as she's a fellow Aussie, but girl knows how to work it. My all time fave would have to be Ongina from Season 1. She always stomped the hell out of that catwalk and I love how she rocked her shaved head.

Rambler: Kylie or Dannii?  

Markian: How can you ask me that, they're both from my hometown Melbourne! I'm Team Kylie but I do have a big soft spot for Dannii. I wish she would stop judging singing shows and actually start singing again. 





Markian of Huntley Homme

Rambler: Boxers or briefs?
 

Markian: I'm a brief boy all the way.

Rambler: What's next for Huntley Homme?
 
Markian: The main focus for now is getting our name out there. I've had the opportunity to connect with some amazing photographers and stylists that I really admire, so hopefully you'll be seeing those collaborations come to life in the near future. My partner James and I are already working on the next collection so stay tuned. 



Rambler: Any celebrity clients as yet?

Markian: Not quite yet but fingers crossed. We've reached out to a few people and I would love to see that come to fruition. There are definitely some guys we want to get our hands and clothes on. 

Shop, browse, perve here.

END.

Sunday, 30 March 2014

Garuda, by Elvis Jesus

DJ Gareth Emery will release Garuda, a limited edition t-shirt featuring the trademark elaborate print style Elvis Jesus customers have become accustomed to.

See this video of Gareth visiting the Elvis Jesus HQ in Manchester (where I used to work!) and starting the design process.



Featuring a Union Jack, to commenorate Gareth's heritage, the words "The silence shouts so loud" on the inside hem, images of vintage stamps to represent Gareth's love of travel - the print works like a tattoo of Gareth's past, present and future.

The 200 t-shirts will be sold exclusively on elvisjesus.com and Gareth will play an exclusive event in Las Vegas to commemorate Elvis Jesus launching in the USA.

END.

Wednesday, 26 March 2014

The Ultimate Facial, no, really!

I'm not exactly a facial kinda gal. I know what you're thinking, "give over, you've been getting facials since you could crawl on yo hands 'n knees!" Well, let me tell you, this visage is au naturale. 

Which is precisely why it needed a facial.


To tell you the truth, I've had a handful in my time, but never really considered it my go-to beauty remedy. I mean, you fork out dosh to get cream spurted on your cheeks and then leave looking flushed, confused and cheap. It's not exactly aromatherapy at it's best, now is it?

Well, that was until I had The Ultimate Facial at Skin Health Spa in Manchester. Why is it the ultimate facial? I'll tell you why, it's £245.00, so it better work!

The Ultimate Facial is a four-step treatment targeting multiple layers of your face to condition deep into the skin and leave a long-lasting effect. It was originally developed for an unnamed celebrity client who needed a facial to combat the grime of London, make-up, studio lights and the general filth that smacked up on her face on a day-to-day basis. Now, I may not be a TV starlet (yet), but my face gets it fair share of dirt. Trust.



After cleansing the skin and sloping a lot of lovely creamy stuff on my face, my lovely technician, Dee, began with step one, microdermabrasion. Microscopic crystals were bounced off my skin within a high-pressure tube, not dissimilar to the sucky thing a Hygienist uses to suck up your spit when you're having a scale and polish. Dee worked the sucky-upy-thingie around my face with particular attention to problem areas (of which, apparently, there were a few).

After this, the left over crystals were massaged into my skin along with two other exfoliation scrubs to lift off all the shit Dee had just realised from my mortified pores. Once these were lifted off, an enzyme facial mask was spread onto my skin and left for 5-10 minutes to set. The enzymes work to re balance skin oils and settle any blemishes, depigmentation and general problem areas.




Me, mid-way through my facial. Looking hot.

Once the enzymes had done their work, Dee started the transderm treatment. Transderm is basically a traditional facial, on speed. Cosmeceutical creams and delicacies are spread onto your skin as normal and then an electrical Taser, much like one would see their local Bobby carrying, is pressed onto your face and then, you're subsequently electrocuted.

OK, I'm going overboard. But, it was rather bizarre. Transderm helps get the facial cosmeceutical lotions and potions deep into the skin by penetrating into the layers beneath the surface of the skin with electric pulses. Not suitable for a whole raft of people including diabetics, people with epilepsy and pregnant ladies, the treatment is one of the more radical in the high-street beauty repertoire, but pretty damn impressive too.


Once I'd been electrocuted, Dee finished the treatment with a light facial massage, the fourth step from fugly to fabulous.

I must admit, the prospect of a £245 facial every 2-3 weeks is alien to many, including me, but this was a facial straight out of the ordinary. Plus, the offers and incentives available at Skin Health Spa are pretty unbeatable. OK, so you're paying £245 for the best facial in the world? But, what about if I told you your second only cost £1? If you book before the end of March 2014, you'll get a second treatment (the same as the one you've paid for) for £1. There's loads of offers including the Six Steps to Skin Health package of six treatments worth £637 for £193! Find out more offers available here.

Go forth, discover what it's like to be beautiful.


END.

Saturday, 22 March 2014

SS14 Look Book: 80s Casual

God I love the 1980s. I know everyone does, now that TOPMAN has been stuck there for the past 3 years, but I just love that hey-day American power look. And the boys looked hot.

Having said that, this look isn't hey-day American power, but it has a touch of late 80s high-school jock (read: wannabe cheerleader) about it anyhow.


Cap, Fearless, £2.99, SportsDirect
Top, TOPMAN, £20
Dungeress, TOPMAN £30
HiTops, Converse, $29.99
Wrist strap, Denham, Gift


Not that bloggy is it? Nope, but it's comfy, humorous and just the right side of boyish for a gentleman my age.


END.

Tuesday, 18 March 2014

Don't Cry For Me Dior

We went to see Evita at The Palace Theatre in Manchester last night. Wow, that woman understood couture.

Madalena Alberto played the musical's heroine, Eva Peron, and Wet Wet Wet's Marti Pellow was the revolutionary-come-narrator. Whilst both performances were incredible, the fashion was deservedly centre stage; as it was throughout Peron's life as the First Lady of Argentina between 1946 and 1952.

The performance inspired me to pull together some Google images of the former First Lady of Argentina. Why not, 'eh?







END.